Story for the small gods…

I remember some of the lies I was told growing up, not particularly by my parents, sometimes by enthusiastic classmates, neighbours and relatives. One of them was that if anyone looked at the mirror at night they might see a masquerade (aka ojuju Calabar). The most ridiculous of them all, was that if you mistakenly swallowed a seed from a fruit, the tree would grow on your head.

Some of us haven’t yet figured out that we eat excessively, due to habits caused by depravation. I’m telling you, the first time I ate a whole egg by myself, it felt like I was doing something really evil. I believe gizzdodo was invented just so we could retaliate for all the chicken gizzards we could never have tasted as children (definition of sweet revenge).

 Looking critically at these stories, they all had some kind of essential morals to them. Okay maybe not the masquerade in the mirror, but most of them kept us in line till we were wise enough to figure out that touching boys hands won’t get anyone pregnant and eating all the beans in the world would not have made me tall, my grandfather’s genes already took care of that.

Imagine having to say to your friends ‘my parents always told me the truth’ (yimu x10) where is the fun in that? Some of these stories have been passed on from many generations; they are a part of our national treasure. So the next time your kids don’t do so well in school, pull them aside, look them straight in the eyes and say ‘listen, when I was your age I was always first in my class’. I must warn you though kids these days are born with microchips, so be armed with several backup stories in case they somehow present you with screen grabbed shots of your WAEC and NECO results. Do you remember any funny fake stories your parents told you, please share in the comment section below.

Cheers!!!!

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14 Comments Add yours

  1. Lois says:

    Nice one Babe… Brings back memories!! I just had a good laugh.

    Like

  2. Agwunobi C N(Pharm)Mrs. says:

    Yes I remember the story of toitoise we were told many years ago of why the tortoise does not have smooth shell.

    We were told that the tortoise pleaded with the birds to take him to theiŕ meeting up in the sky.
    On their way to the meeting, the tortoise requested that every one should take a name that they would be called. They all took a name for themselves. The tortoise called himself ‘all of you ‘.
    At the end of the deliberations at the meeting. Entertainments were served. Tortoise asked who all that food was for and the severs said all of you. So tortoise collected the whole food claiming that his name was ‘all of you”.
    The birds abandoned the tortoise in the sky. As the were all leaving, he pleaded with one of them to at tell his wife to spread foam in front of his house ao that he can at least throw himself down on it.
    The birds instead informed the wife that tortoise said she should spread big stones and thorns in front of his house so that evil people would not come near their house in his to harm her.
    When tortoise looked down and saw what he thought was foam, he threw himself down only to break his shell in pieces.
    His wife helped him to patch thè pieces of the shell together.
    LESSONS FROM THE STORY
    1.Don’t be greedy.
    2.learn to share.
    3. Don’t cheat people.
    4. Don’t thinkyou are better than others.
    5. Don’t play tricks on people.
    etc

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    1. nobination says:

      I remember this story…wow thanks for sharing!!!

      Like

  3. If you go to the market square and bend with your head looking between your knees anything you see nah you sabi. I don’t know if anyone has ever tried it sha . me I would not be the one to see whinch o. Lolz.

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    1. nobination says:

      I think I tried this one…

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  4. nobination says:

    I remember the story of the tortoise…wow, thanks for sharing @AGWUNOBI CN

    Like

  5. Daniel says:

    Still thinking

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  6. Flora Uko says:

    Wow! I remember when Mumsy sends you on an errand esp outside the house to buy stuff…she’ll spit saliva on the floor and remind you that you have to return before it dry’s up if not your navel will. OMG! You will be breathless when you return with speed!
    But with kids this days its different o. I told my 4 yr old daughter that an orange tree will grow on her head because she swallowed orange seeds and she gave me this funny look saying ” Mummy how can a tree grow when is no soil in the stomach” . I just immediately flashed back to many nights I wake up to check my head to see if the tree has germinated. Lol

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  7. Flora Uko says:

    Wow! I remember when Mumsy sends you on an errand esp outside the house to buy stuff…she’ll spit saliva on the floor and remind you that you have to return before it dry’s up if not your navel will. OMG! You will be breathless when you return with speed!
    But with kids this days its different o. I told my 4 yr old daughter that an orange tree will grow on her head because she swallowed orange seeds and she gave me this funny look saying ” Mummy how can a tree grow when there is no soil in the stomach!” . I just immediately flashed back to many nights I woke up to check my head to see if the tree has germinated. Lols

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    1. Flora Uko says:

      *your navel will rotten.

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    2. nobination says:

      Children these days have no chill

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    3. nobination says:

      Thanks for sharing flora. So hilarious….don’t try this computer age children oh. Lol

      Like

  8. Agan says:

    Hahaha. Was anyone told not to draw in the sand after 5pm? I think that was their way of making us come home early 😂
    Thanks Nobi for bringing back sweet memories. Of course, I always countered their “I always came 1st” story with a smart question of my own
    “if everyone’s mom and dad came 1st, who came last?” 😉

    Like

    1. nobination says:

      I never heard that one. Wow they had a story for everything I giess

      Like

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